My new favourite way to spend Sunday's...get really stoned and watch silent films from the 20's.

90% of people prove to be full of bullshit. It's okay though, I don't hold grudges
Actually that's pretty much a lie
I think human beings delude themselves about pretty much everything

When I first read about post-structuralism and the notion that 'individuality' is a crock of bullshit perpetuated by modernist ideologies, the desperation I experienced was akin to the confusion I felt realizing that god was not even dead, but a complete fiction. The two most formative periods of my life are quintessential negations, so typical of my generation. The corresponding self-delusion...belief that these 'formative experiences' are unique or original in any way. This is laughable...or confusing, or frustrating. Don't we all want to believe it, though? Nothing we experience is really that important, our suffering is not new nor does it spring from new places or lead in new directions

Nothing I say is original
but that is okay

existentialist anti-heroes try too hard
I always identified with the dude from 'notes from underground'
his anxiety is extreme and pathetic and awkward but charming
I just wanted to make him a picnic lunch or something and sing songs in the park with no shoes on
we could eat popsicles and stuff

fuck 'men of action'


  1. i have a feeling if notes-from-underground guy and i spent an afternoon together we would explode from compounded neuroticness

  2. eh i agree and disagree.

    while i do believe this is all regurgitation

    new ideas don't really exist per se

    the struggle and pain is utterly your own

    i can not switch my brain with yours, we will never be precisely the same

    also, einstein said 'if you believe in a watch, you believe in a watch maker'

    'god' can be many things. i think you should experience more things before making a final judgment.

    or don't. what the fuck do i care.

  3. I'm not making any final judgments. I don't subscribe to any one philosophy, and I am highly critical of post-modern theorists, but the ideas float around in my head and bounce off one another and result in verbal bullshit poured out on a page mostly for my own benefit. Final judgments or objective truth claims are partially what I'm trying to criticize here. All discourses are involved in a dialogue with others that come before and after and the people who hear them.

    I don't believe in the Judeo-Christian god; my disillusionment after being raised in a strict Christian family was rough, and I felt similarly after reading a bunch of post-structuralists who throw the idea of individuality out the window. I'm lamenting the loss of these objective, stablizing 'truths' that no longer exist, I'm being critical, not nihilistic. I'm not saying that our experiences of suffering are the same, obviously we're different people who experience life differently, just that no ideas are new and the cliche struggle of an individual trying to 'find their way' and articulate a unique identity in the mess of post-modernity is somewhat bullshit. Or rather, that kind of self-realization is irrelevant now, even the language we use to express it needs to be restructured.

    And what do you consider 'the watch' in this example that would necessitate the existence of a 'watchmaker?' The universe? The individual? Everything? In that case, I don't believe in a 'watch' per se. It's a false analogy. If I do "believe" in any sort of God, I like Spinoza's.

  4. anything created has a creator.

    so i guess you could boil it down simply to existence. or atoms. universe.

    whatever it means to you.