People who act happy all the time make me nervous
People who tell me to smile more make me sad
When you told me not to let anxiety control my life I wanted to slap you
You won't believe me
but that was the only time I felt bitterness towards you.
Maybe that's a lie.
I don't remember.

Remember that time I fell asleep on the carpet in front of the fireplace curled up with the dog and my fingers between the pages of my book and you reading steam punk and when I woke up I looked for you immediately, startled to be alone, and you knelt down to kiss me. I was so happy.
Or that time you fucked me in your friend's shower.
The last time we had sex I was on top of you and I asked awkwardly
"did you finish"
even though I knew
and then I laughed

and you looked sad

I was always so insecure after sex

I hope whoever you're fucking now helps you forget yourself

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