It's a comedy of errors.
These photos are by Hello Hands. Marvelous. I couldn't really pick favourites. The top one reminds me of Goldfrapp's Seventh Tree photos, very whimsical.
I am tired of portraits. I know I'm in a bad place when I have no interest in people's faces. I am interested in shapes and lines and sometimes the way bodies move, but not faces. This is unusual.
I spent the majority of my afternoon on Queen West at various beading and knitting stores, eventually spending way too much money. I returned home and spent six hours making jewelery. I am procrastinator extraordinaire.
I love this city on mild but super snowy days. Everyone is invisible and isolated. I can avoid eye contact. When people brush against me on the street or when friends hug me I feel startled. I feel like I need to protect myself from something. I am not one to avoid intimacy or contact. I don't know what is going on, I feel scared of everything.
I started having panic attacks again. I'm supposed to take more drugs now. I just want to get through this shit. I still embrace things, life is still beautiful. But right now, I feel discouraged and inadequate. Uninspired. Such things will pass.
On the bright side.
I am going back home tomorrow for my sister's 16th birthday. My weekend will [hopefully] include highly competitive games of Risk, shitloads of Rock Band 2 and drunken evenings with my excellent mother. I have no shame.
Theme songs of the day.
Heimdalsgate Like a Promethean Curse - of Montreal.
"Chemicals don't strangle my pen."
Calling and Not Calling My Ex - Okkervil River
"My life is sweet while it's slightly disappointingly just gliding softly by."
Miss Misery - Elliott Smith
"You're not with me now, but I keep a good attitude."