I feel really scattered today.
I'm writing an essay that feels like a gang rape against Fanon. I've got Debord, Laclau, Guitarri and Marcuse all up against him flashing phallic symbols. Maybe a little unfair. The sad thing is, I really like Fanon. He's a cool dude. Terrorist violence, sure. But its incredibly easy to argue against him. I feel very stressed about this paper. And who will read it? Who gives a fuck? Maybe 3 people at most will ever read this piece of shit.
My roommate and her friend were sitting on the front porch holding a copy of a Fanon text and this douchebag frat boy walked by and said 'oh cool Franz Ferdinand.' Barf. This city erupts in the spring time with horny 20 year-old boys pleasantly equipped with daddy's money and nothing better to do but strut around like they have huge cocks. Where do they all come from? Its like they spring up from the depths of hell to torture women everywhere. No one wants to be shouted at. No one wants to be whistled at. No one wants cars to slow down and follow them down the street while the group inside yell sexual innuendos. What the fuck do you want me to do? Jump the fuck in and suck your dick?
I chose to quit smoking yesterday. Again. Yes. I generally choose days to quit when I'm too lazy to walk to the store (which is literally right outside my apartment building by the way). Probably a bad strategy. I am okay with being an addict if I actually enjoy what I'm addicted to. But I don't enjoy smoking anymore. So I must end my love affair. My strategy is to buy large quantities of junk food and whenever I get a craving for nicotine, eat candy in 30 second intervals for approximately 8 minutes at a time. We'll see how that goes.
When my cats go for more than 2 hours without food they start doing ridiculous things. Like chase each other around the apartment, throw up in front of my bedroom door, spill water all over the kitchen, jump in the bath tub while I'm taking a shower, open the fridge with their paws and smell around for meat, sit on the books I happen to be reading, climb ridiculous things and propel their bodies to the floor, stare at me with sad eyes like I am depriving them of all joy in life, etc. I think its time to go to the store.
I am bitter.