I think reading Merleau-Ponty's Phenomenology of Perception will probably change my life. Like Lacan, Haraway, Hegel, Spinoza and Nietzsche did (and in that order, reversed). I'm into grandiose statements. I'm into philosophy that makes me feel grandiose and alive. I want to write a paper on phenomenology and Emily Dickinson, I think that would be very fun. Merleau-Ponty died of a stroke while reading Descartes. That is too perfect.

This year there are a few things I want to do. I don't understand why people get sappy and set up goals in January. I'm moderately sappy all times of the year. But I've been contemplating goals and here are some of them: read all of Being and Time. thoughtfully, carefully, and with help from secondary sources and online lectures. I am impatient with Heidegger but I think if I give the bastard some real time we'd get along okay. Start listening to more poetry, because it soothes my soul, yeaaaah. Regain all my French. Start getting poetry submitted to print journals and generally just write more poetry. Cut out superfluities. I'm generally good at cutting things out. But I want to really learn what needs to be cut and what should be nourished. I'm bad at editing.

My laptop is still a few hours away, now fixed and fresh and waiting to be transported back home by my most generous brother. Lack of a computer for the last month means that I am behind in reading blogs, behind in television, behind in internet-mediated information. But as a result, my mind is clear and fresh and I am stuck in books. Today I went to this antiques store to buy an old vintage clock I've been yearning for since December. The [very] old man behind the counter has thick red fingers with gold rings on each and asked me if I like Oscar Wilde. We talked about Oscar Wilde's time in prison and the fairy tales he wrote. Alone in this peach coloured room full of expensive and inexpensive furniture smelling of old life, he read "Ballad of Reading Goal" from a bright pink 1972 pocket edition of Wilde's collected works. He read softly in a shaky voice but with a beautiful consonance.

Another goal for this year is to be more kind to strangers.

Everything feels good.

I love love love and hate this city and I don't want to leave it, yet.

I hope you are all well.